A world better than this
by whoeveryouwantmetobeandmore
Summary: Clarke had been ruined by the inconsistency of men. Broken and left to cry to herself. She was strong-willed and a brick wall afraid of anyone ever seeing who she was and what she felt. Bellamy was impulsive, but he had heard her cry. Will he be the shadow the watched over her as she sleeps, protecting her from the pain of reality. Or will he be the one to break her all together?
1. Everything

**CLARKE:**

He angered me. Why I put up with his crap all the time was beyond me. I was being idiotic and I was being weak. I didn't want anything from Finn Collins and I sure as hell didn't need it. From the second he embraced Raven I could only think of reasons to hate him, I didn't necessarily want to hate him, but I had to and I would, just for the sake of being stubborn. I stormed out of the supply room and tucked away the now ever crumpled map into my jacket pocket. I met Bellamy's dark eyes as I slumped towards where he was mingling with almost half of the 100's female population.

"Princess, how nice of you to honour me with your presence-" "Shut-up" I shot back at him furrowing my brow in frustration. Why did he always have to do that. I don't know why it hit me so hard every time he called me that. I knew he would whenever a conversation between the two of us arose, but it meant something to me I realised, hearing him call me something other than Clarke. He didn't call me by the name that everybody else knew me by. No, Bellamy Blake was no one to be a part of the herd, he called me a name that he knew I would respond to simply because it was his name for me. It was his, and I let him have it. He chuckled at my obvious reaction to the attention he had given me over the other women that surrounded him. "Had a long day?" "That's one way of putting it." I responded not knowing how much he would really read into that. He caught himself staring at me and wavered the other women off although some of them grunted at the realisation of my staying behind. "Your such an ass Bellamy, one motion of your hand and they're dismissed like servants. You may be a leader, but you are no better than anyone else here, you simply take charge and make them feel safe. Look I don't care if you want to frolic around with whomever it may concern, but just remember that you have absolutely no real power over these kids. They just see you and I as the only people who have the faintest idea of how to not die and i'm not even sure we do." "You say it as if they don't want it themselves Princess. They come to m- well no that's incorrect they _came_ to me. I do not frolic. Despite what you may think about me I actually do have morales. I don't like taking advantage of people for my own benefit, I do not like being selfish-" "Yet that's all you seem to do. Yet that's all you seem to be Bellamy." Regret hit me like a bullet. Perhaps he was selfish some of the time, but in the end it had always turned out that he had everybody else's best interest at mind, and Octavia? I couldn't even begin to express the lengths he would go to for his sister. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean.. I didn't mean to say that." I said to him not meeting the deep eyes that I could never seem to read as they stood above me watching. "Yet you did." He neutrally sounded back at me before waltzing off into the darkness of his tent.

I sighed and walked away into the comfort of my own tent. I just kept causing unnecessary trouble for myself. Even as a child I never thought about what I was going to say before spitting it out for everyone to hear. More times then not I would get called out for saying something offensive to somebody, i've never been able to grasp the concept of knowing when to not talk. Whatever. No more sulking about stupid problems that I had brought upon myself. Just before I was about to let the exhaustion take over when someone walked into the tent. Instinctively I rolled out of bed and grabbed the knife that lay under my pillow every night and guarded me as I slept. But before I had the chance to take on the unexpected visitor he spoke up.

"Jesus Princess calm down, and you wonder why your not the one who has people lining up to come into her tent at night." He said to me jokingly as I let out a sigh of relief before realising I was just wearing a shirt and my bottom half was somewhat completely exposed. Fantastic. "On the other hand I don't reckon many of them have seen you in this state before, perhaps this would find you some followers." He looked me up and down before smiling in a way that almost said.. don't bother covering up I don't really mind. Or something like that. "You're impossible." I said to him never breaking eye contact. "What the hell are you doing in here Bellamy?" As I said it I felt something in my stomach, no, no in my head. I suddenly couldn't focus on anything, the room was spinning, I heard voices, Finns, my moms, my dads, and the most distinct of all. I heard Bellamy's voice laughing and talking about something to me that obviously made him content. I smiled at that before as sudden as death, the floor rose up to me and the last thing I remember was being held, by something strong, by him of course, the idiot had caught me. And then all was black.

**BELLAMY:**

I ran to her as fast as my legs would allow, I don't know why the impulse for me to stop her from hitting the floor was so demanding. I didn't even know her that well, all I knew was that I drove her mad, but somehow, somewhere in me I knew that knowing how to wind her up wasn't what made me need to catch her. In fact it was the opposite. It was the urge I felt to wind her down and take her away from her head and herself for a while, I know she thought that I was just being an ass, fuck maybe I was, but I knew in me that I was just doing it to her help her escape. What I felt for her was for another time I thought.. and with that I scooped her up with her head resting on my shoulder and lay her down on her bed. It was exhaustion and I knew it, I had been standing outside her tent at night, every night for the past three and I knew that she never slept. She was either drawing or crying and it killed me. I didn't know why. She was a rather ugly crier actually but the sounds got to me. It gave me this need to protect her at all costs. Whether I felt something more than partnership for her was still undetermined in my mind although I couldn't say the same for the rest of me. My body and my heart knew what they wanted.. and it was her. But for now, that didn't matter and for now.. maybe for ever. She wouldn't know, I heard her cry at night.. heard her sob and ache for someone to cry on and be held by. I wanted to be that person I did. But I wasn't worthy, she deserved someone who would always be there for her to cry on. Being impulsive, short tempered and overly determined myself, I wasn't sure if I could ever be that person. But she also deserved someone who was willing to try, and I was exactly that. Willing to try.

**CLARKE:**

He was attractive, not going to lie. I wasn't disappointed as to having him be the person asleep next to me when I woke up. But I was also a realist, damn it, he couldn't be in here holding me around the waist with his strong rough hands that were breed to kill. No, that wasn't possible. I studied him for a second, his hair and the pattern that it took when it draped across his eyes, mysterious. His jaw line was so perfectly defined it was enough to make me trace it with my fingers as he silently dreamed about a world better then this. His features were sharp and defined, all so perfect and proportioned to the rest of his body. Compared to me his was huge. Our bodies curled perfectly together as my bent knees fit perfectly into his pelvis and upper thighs. I was just the right height for my head to be on his chest and for his chin to on top of my head but still slightly flat out. He stirred but tightened his grip as if he was claiming me and my presence. I inhaled him, everything there was about him, his dirty musty smell that made him seem even stronger and his faint smell of soft flowers that had obviously come from the forest. Captivating. No, consuming. No, everything, in this moment, he was nothing short of everything.


	2. I wanted her

***I'm not quite sure where in hell this is going, I don't know if it'll be a long thing (which I hope it will be because those are the ones I like to read) or something that just ends at the right place quickly, we shall see. **

**BELLAMY:**

I could feel eyes on me, I don't think she realised she was staring. Her cheeks flushed and became a soft pink that made me want to hold her tighter and never let go. But I couldn't, I knew she didn't need a man like me in her life like that yet. Maybe one day, just not today. So instead of holding her tighter, I simply let go and winked at her before rolling off of her bed. I found myself speaking "Sorry, i'm not that guy Princess." before exiting the tent and facing what the world had to throw at us today.

**CLARKE:**

I was so confused. I woke up to find him holding me in his arms and to the sweet sound of his strong breathing that made me feel ever so safe and then within minutes he was just an ass again. I don't even know why he stayed with me, he could've just lay me on the bed and left. But he didn't. So obviously to some degree, he was "that guy" I chuckled at the thought and then sighed, or at least he wanted to be.

I got out of bed and decided that I should step up and actually see what was going on out in reality. I instantly regretted it. I came out to find Finn and Raven going at it right outside of my tent and not the fighting sort of going at it, like the mouths, teeth and tongue clashing kind, far more disturbing in my perspective. Not exactly what I wanted to see first thing in the morning. I shoved past him, interrupting whatever it was they were doing and smirked to myself knowing that I had just caused a scene. Before I had the chance to waltz of with my knew sense of accomplishment to my shock Finn grabbed my arm and yanked me back. It hurt, his grip was so tight and he pulled at my arm with such force my entire body jolted forward causing me to slam right into him before he shrugged me off. "What the fuck is your problem?" I spat at him furious and inside extremely afraid of what lengths he was obviously willing to go to get his point across. "Stop looking at me across the yard everyday like i'm a terrible person. I've apologised for what i've done but now it's time for you to move on and stop making me feel so god damn guilty. I care about you Princess I do but it's come to the point-" I cut him off. "Never, ever call me that again do you understand? I despise of you Finn, apologies only count if they are sincere. Kissing her without even the slightest thought as to how I would feel standing and watching from the side. An ashamed, rushed apology thrown at me while I was tending to a patient and barely paying attention is not sincere. I gave you things I can't get back Finn. All you did was take and take and take and when you keep taking eventually there's nothing left. I hate you and everything you say is a lie. Figure out what you want because I've seen you looking at me longing for how I made you feel, I've seen you wanting me everyday Finn. You stare and then pretend you were looking at something slightly to the left, never the right. I catch on you know. You make me sick Finn Collins. Never touch me or talk to me again. Oh and when you're thinking about me in your tent at night when eventually she's not enough for you, know that you can never have me. Know that there's someone else in my tent making me feel better then you ever did. Feel pain and jealousy because nothing you can say will ever make up for what you did to either of us. Me or her. I don't know if she just got over it but if I was in her position I sure as hell know what I would do. Fuck off Finn. You mean nothing to me. Absolutely nothing" And with that I stormed into the morning sun and out of the gates.

**BELLAMY:**

Bitchy Princess, I liked it. She was strong. But currently she was just pissed. I hated spacewalker. Always had, I knew him as a kid. Always wanting the attention and getting it by playing sweet. Sweet wasn't my strong spot per say. Strong was, protective and strong was just who I was. I stopped what I was doing to listen to the ruckus that she had started. She said some stuff I knew she would regret later but honestly as selfish as it was I enjoyed watching spacewalker slowly realise he'd pissed of the wrong princess and I also enjoyed that she would let me call her that. I enjoyed _that_ very much having heard her tell him to never call her that again. I smirked to myself before watching her storm off into the drop ship where I knew she would go. I let her cool off before walking in to check on her. I couldn't help myself, not because I liked that she was strong and that she could lash out on people like me. Simply because I knew as strong as she acted to be out there, on the inside she was broken, and I wanted to fix her. I wanted to mend every last piece of her, putting each one perfectly back in place and when I finished, she would be stronger than she ever thought possible and I would be by her side. "Hey Princess." I strolled into the drop ship to find her staring at the wall in the corner, crying but she didn't seem to realise there were tears pouring down her cheeks. She just stared. "I know i'm about the last person you want to talk to right now but-" She turned her head slowly towards me and then ran straight into my chest sobbing into my shirt. She was screaming and crying with anger and fear and pain. I held her tightly and smoothed over her hair as her crying slowed and then she took a step back before hitting me right in the chest with the back of her hand. It didn't hurt as such but I could see she didn't need it to hurt she just needed it to get her point across. "I'm sorry for leaving this morning princess.. I didn't want to put you in that position. I know you're not feeling exactly willing towards men right now but.. uh .. how do I.. I want to be here for you. Were partners, a team. We need to learn to trust each other and rely on each other. So.. I'm here.. i'm here and no matter what you do.. I'm never going to leave. I promise." I could feel my heart beat in my own ears, if she couldn't hear it I would be amazed. "That's a big promise to make given were living on a post nuclear war zone of a planet. But i'll take it none the less." She smiled. She was pretty when she smiled, well she was always pretty but she almost had a slight glow to her. I stepped slightly closer to her smiling in response she looked me up and down before inching closer herself, we were centimetres apart, our breathing became in time with one an others just before I placed my hand on her chin. I lifted her face up so our eyes met, we stayed like that for countless seconds until neither of us could hold back a second longer. I could feel her presence, she was so close. She was right in front of me, begging me to save her. Our lips brushed together perfectly fitting. Her lips were so soft and perfect, she ran her hand through my hair and I lowered mine down to her waist. I wanted her in that moment, I suppose.. no. I knew, I wanted her all together. I just wanted her.


End file.
